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What to Do if You are Being Bullied at Home

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As a therapist, each month I see many people who talk about how they felt they were bullied at home when they were children. They may be still carrying around the psychological scars of the bullying. They may still experience every day the sense of betrayal by relatives, neighbours or family members who made their life difficult. This may even include people in relationships who are experiencing a pattern of violence or abuse (physical or emotional) by the other partner.

Those people may never have truly talked to anyone before about the trauma they suffered or attempted to work on resolving the anger that they still carry around with. When you feel you have been hurt then you tend to mentally close down as a means of protection rather than talking about your trauma. But those traumas do need to be resolved because if that unfinished business is not dealt with and expressed safely, it festers and can make you physically, mentally and emotionally damaged.

If you are being bullied at home you need to:

1. Ensure you have a safe place to escape to if you need it.

2. Get the help of other relatives.

3. Talk to professionals, such as a doctor, social worker, or charity worker who can help in finding ways for you to be safe in your own home.

4. If you have a priest, imam, rabbi or spiritual leader, ask to speak to them privately, tell them what is happening to you and ask for help.

5. Never be alone with the bully.

6. See if you can find someone who can mediate between you to help stop the bullying.

If you are in the situation where you believe that you are being bullied in your home at the moment by a parent, brother, sister, relative or neighbour, then you owe it to yourself to take action to stop that happening or leave. Sometimes people become angry, mentally ill or emotionally distressed and their aggressive behaviour becomes out of control and they need help to stop that bullying and behave better in future.

You may consider staying with a relative, friend or colleague until the situation has been resolved. You need to speak out rather than stay quiet. Remember, if you stay quiet, things will not get better. For the situation to improve, you need to tell other people and ask for their help.

Involving a friend, relative or social worker makes you safer by letting a third party know what is happening to you. They may also be able to negotiate a solution on your behalf. You may also find hypnosis and cognitive behavioural therapy helpful in coping with the emotional distress.

Remember that if you are being at home, perhaps it is happening to someone else too and you taking action may also change things for the better for other people in the family. If you are suffering physical violence then unquestionably you need to involve the police or social services, maybe even you spiritual leader.

Your home should be a sanctuary – the place you go to when you want to be safe and loved and cared for, no matter what else is happening in the world. If you come home at night and then have to battle with abuse, whether is physical, mental or emotional then it makes your home and unsafe place and no one deserves that to happen.

Whether you have a traditional, extended or alternative family there needs to be peace in the home. Everyone falls out occasionally and may even bear a grudge, but when you live with someone on a daily basis there needs to be a level of civilised pleasant behaviour so everyone feels valued, loved and safe.

For more help with overcoming bullying, see my Bullying Recovery Hypnosis downloadable program.

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