All of us at some time in our lives have been engaging in some self-destructive behaviours. As human beings we don’t always get things rights and sometimes misjudge situations, people or circumstances.
Do you:
- Make friends with people and then fall out with them?
- Get offered great opportunities then fail to show up for them?|
- Stay up late when you have an early meeting?
- Get drunk at the office party and make a pass at your junior or your boss?
- Save your money then blow it on a holiday you can’t afford?
Some people get stuck in a negative, repetitive rut that spirals into a set of self-destructive and self-damaging course of action.
At some part of your psyche you may know it’s happening but you just don’t know how to stop doing that behaviour.
It may involve drugs, alcohol, falling out with friends, family and loved ones, or setting light to your career or job situation.
You may become so negatively focused that you’ve lost touch with reality and can’t see the danger you’re placing yourself and others in.
At one end of the scale you may be simply dressing inappropriately for your social encounters and at the other you may be experiencing symptoms of borderline personality disorder where you fall out with most people, most of the time, and then blame them.
Overcoming self-destructive behaviours can be achieved by changing the way your mind works, along with your thought patterns and behaviours.
This in turn changes the way you put yourself out into the world allows you to take better care of yourself and others.
You see, all self-destructive behaviours have one thing in common: they all occur because you’ve misjudged the danger of a situation. You’re unable to connect with the awareness that your action will cause damage to yourself or others. You’re unable to view the reality of a situation.
There are, of course, times when you may understand the consequences but find yourself unable to stop your destructive behaviour. In these instances some part of you is in conflict with the part the keeps you safe.
So, what to do?
- Identify your self-destructive behaviours
- Ask yourself why you do those behaviours
- Start to monitor your thoughts so they produce positive outcomes
- Follow those positive thoughts through to positive actions Devise positive behaviours to replace the old negative behaviours
If your self-destructive behaviours have become dangerous to yourself and others, go into therapy. Even if you are seeking to fix those behaviours yourself, your number one priority is to become more positive in your behaviours and thinking.
You will feel weird at first because all new thoughts and behaviour are strange to begin with. Regardless of any feelings of self-sabotage, continue to repeat those positive thoughts and behaviours again and again.
And finally congratulate yourself when you have positive constructive behaviour in situations where you used to self-sabotage. Celebrate your change.
Need some help shifting into patterns of positive thinking? My Positive Thinking Hypnosis digital program is designed to help you do just this:
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